Hey, guys!!! For those of you that are new, my name is Felly Bee and I love Sweet Tart Ropes. Today I am going to talk to you guys about my life motto when it comes to the love bug.
So, back story. My mom met Dan, my step-dad, like a million years ago. Ok, not really that long ago. Maybe more like 13? I’m not completely sure. Dan made me the “high maintaince” girl I am today – he bought me my first designer perfume when I was 12 and my champagne taste hasn’t changed (damn, beer budget).
I used to love guys that treated me like crap. I guess you could say I loved the thought of trying to make someone love me. Why? I literally have no idea. I had a couple of relationships that were alright, but I always settled and justified bad behaviors and treatment towards myself. In result, I began treating my partners bad, too. Eventually, this was all just a chain reaction. Guy treats me bad, I treat him bad, and it just continues until we eventually break up. Then, it goes on into a new relationship.
This became something that was so normal to me that I stopped realizing it was not a thing that happened in most successful relationships. Normalizing this behavior, on both mine and my partners part, kept toxic relationships going for far too long. There was something so justifying about being treated like shit, treating someone badly back, and then making up later on. I convinced myself that this meant the relationship was meant to be because we always came back to each other.
Eventually, I got fed up with constantly wondering if the person I was dedicating my entire life to was even going to be my boyfriend the next day. I gave up on that relationship and was seriously happy with myself and loved myself.
Then, I began thinking about what I want in a relationship and it brought be back to a memory from Christmas. My step-dad watched my mom open her gifts from him like a parent watched their child open a gift from Santa for the first time. He was so happy to make her happy. Dan makes me puke a lot of the time by telling my mom “I missed you so much,” “Hey, pretty lady,” and all that cheesy stuff that makes me cringe, but I kind of want that. I decided right then and there that I want someone to love me to the point it is nauseating to my future kids and I want to love them in the same way.
Since I have realized what I do want in a relationship, I finally know what I won’t put up with. I no longer will worry about saying my feelings and being called names. If a guy puts me down for having feelings, he can peace out. I do not need anyone in my life (besides my dogs), and I’m not going to suddenly beg for someone to love me.
This brings me to something exciting. I think I found my own Dan 😉